Friday, February 01, 2008

La Liga Loca's New Home

After two years and literally dozens of hits, La Liga Loca has moved to a brand new footballing bosom...the world's greatest magazine, FourFourTwo. Click here as the adventure continues and add the link into your bestest favourites....

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Barça Back Out of Iberian Battle

With Frank Rijkaard having waved a big white flag of surrender on the title race with his rather defeatist, "it seems that no-one can beat Real Madrid," comment, it's time for everyone to work out how they are going to pass the next four months or so, with only the plight of Valencia for entertainment.

'La Liga Loca' has got hold of 'Heroes' at last, is a bit behind on the ongoing adventures of Jack Bauer and has never seen 'Prison Break', so it is all sorted until summer.

'Sport' has taken to printing emails from irate readers - those who can send emails in between the powercuts attacking the city - across its opening pages to send a powerful message to those running the Kingdom of Catalunya.

"There is a complete lack of application from some players," grumbles Oscar Senén. "The team needs solutions and Rijkaard has none," declares Mercedes Gallego, "a fan and a member," who will probably find out she isn't one, once Joan Laporta tracks her down on his presidential database.

A bit further along inside the paper, Joan Batile declares in an editorial that, "last year, the bosses watched the side on teletext and never watched them in person as they could see that Barcelona were on top."

Not anymore, he reports, guessing that they are still tuning into "Look Who's Dancing!" on match nights.

'El Mundo Deportivo' are continuing to show an admirable faith in Ronaldinho's abilities by trumpeting the Brazilian's fiftieth return to training, this season.

"He's smiling!" they declare on the front page, hoping his big happy grin will be enough to shut out Villarreal, on Thursday.

Carles Puyol, for one, is delighted to see his team-mate back having grown tired of Citizen Oleguer's ongoing ruminations on whether the French rogue trader is a hero of the people or capitalism's pig dog. "He can bring back the joy we are missing," pontificated the permed one.

'Marca' were feeling very pleased with themselves indeed on Wednesday, having secured an interview with Zizou. Despite offering the fantastic Frenchman with their cheap and tatty all round god award, Zidane still gave them an interview. Once he had wiped away his tears, or course.

"This means a lot to me," claimed the thunderous thug. "Then there was a silence and you could see Zidane was very emotional," claimed 'Marca'.

The paper splashed the headline, "I see Madrid as European Champions!" as Zizou's big prediction. "I don't just see Madrid as European Champions. There are other teams, Manchester United," was what the geriatric genius actually said.

Those non-Roberto Gómez fans may skip this section, but today's ranting ruminations from the paper's chief jester concern Real Madrid's lack of attendance at a local trade fair - a trade fair where he suggests Iker Casillas should be standing next to a model of the Bernabeu. Instead of lying on a bed with Eva González counting his money.

"When Jesus Gil was president of Atlético Madrid and mayor of Marbella, the whole squad went," boasted Gómez neatly side-stepping the fact that Gil stole tax payer's money from the people of Marbella to fund his pet club and would have gone to prison for it, has he not keeled over with a heart attack just before.

Losing two matches in a row constitutes a crisis here in Spain, so Atlético Madrid's three defeats on the trot signifies a full on CRISIS! in the papers. There are no words in Spanish to describe Valencia's slump.

The two sides face eachother in the Vicente Calderón, on Wednesday night, in the second leg of their Copa del Rey quarter final clash. And 'La Liga Loca' will be there to watch the footballing equivalent of Ivan de la Peña and Pedro Munitis fighting over a comb.

Valencia have a 1-0 advantage and despite the absence of Vicente - who would probably have played in goal - and Silva, central defence - Ronald Koeman is a chipper mood. "We are two victories away from being able to win a title!" announced the doomed Dutchman.

Getafe travel to Mallorca with a 1-0 advantage with housewife's favourite, Michael Laudrup reckoning that, "one goal would be enough." Sounds like a fun night in store at the Ono Estadi.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Has Cuco's Cookie Crumbled?

As expected, the Sevilla v Osasuna post match mayhem has caused more foul-smelling fallout than a dozen rumbling Russian reactors blowing their tops.

But it is not the water throwing, the neck grabbing or police punching that has caused all the to-do but the very, very alleged accusation from a Sevilla blogger that Cuco 'the Hulk' Ziganda had yelled something very unsavoury about Antonio Puerta, during the match.

"If I did say this, then I'll retire," said the vein-throbbing Osasuna coach, who advised that the whole matter was in the hands of his lawyers who are considering suing the author of the original allegation.

Naturally, everyone and everybody involved in the matter - and, of course, those with no connection whatsoever - have thrown their hot-tempered hats into the footballing ring of fire.

"Ziganda is a gentleman, not like some of those in Sevilla," claimed Navarre's regional president, Miguel Sanz, poking his nose in where it really wasn't wanted.

Osasuna pressie, Patxi Izco - Basque scrabble must see some high scoring scorchers - has gone on the offensive and brought up the terrible memory of last season's UEFA cup match against Sevilla.

Izco recalls with a sob and a shudder in AS that he and his delegates were forced to sit in row three of the Pizjuán presidential balcony and not the first. "It was offensive," stuttered the traumatised titan, who must still be taking counselling sessions to get over the experience, the poor baby.

A brand new week means a brand new round of weird wackiness at Valencia - now officially the worst club in the city and probably the whole world when looking at recent results.

El Mundo and AS write that Juan Bautista Soler - a man unable to attend Mestalla on doctor's orders - was on the brink of resigning after the Villarreal defeat, last weekend.

But instead of the board telling Daddy's boy to bugger off, they persuaded him to stay. And this is why Soler's was in attendance at a meeting on Monday to decide the fate of Ronald Koeman.

Although the club's spokesman, Rafa Solem, claimed that "we have total confidence in the coach," Marca reckon that if Valencia don't pull off a decent result against Atlético Madrid in the cup on Wednesday and Valladolid in the league on Sunday, then Koeman's hook will be well and truly slung.

Seeing as the Dutchman was handed a contract till 2010, it is unlikely that he will be that bothered should it come to pass.

There was fighting talk from the players - again - with Raul Albiol declaring that it is 'madness' to talk about relegation but that the team needs to be "practical and forget about nice football." La Liga Loca is already looking forward to its trip to the Calderón on Wednesday night.

Tuesday sees Marca diving into the murky world of Spanish politics with what will be an entertainingly embittered general election just around the corner. Roberto Gomez, for one, has declared that he is scribbling his X in the box marked Mariano Rajoy, the conservative opposition leader, on March 9th.

And the reason why the bearded Galician has won over Gomez' political heart is because Rajoy "supports Deportivo but the team he really loves is Real Madrid," unlike Zapatero who has a fondness for Barcelona but "clearly likes sport, but nothing more."

More importantly for Gomez, the PP primero can also help get him his lucrative old weekly chat show gig back, if he gets into power. "Rajoy reads Marca and would like to see the return of El Rondo."

At time of writing, the PSOE have been disgracefully silent on their policy on the recent cancellation of the footballing shout-fest.

Another of the paper's writers who has come over all political for no apparent reason is Sergi Arola, who rants entertainingly about people stopping him smoking and driving too fast.

"It's like being under Franco," he grumbles. "Why don't we ban Messi, Kun and Robinho from playing badly under threat of expulsion?" is the logical conclusion to those trying to prevent him from running over his fellow citizens or giving them passive lung cancer.


All blog content copyright of La Liga Loca, 2008