Saturday, December 31, 2005

Jesus Gil Day

All-Round Loon honoured in Benefit Game

Friday in Spain was Jesus Gil day - a time to honour and remember Atletico de Madrid's rotund former president, who died in May 2004 after a fairly predictable heart attack. Before, we go on to see how Jesus was remembered, here are some random facts about him.

- In a spell as a property magnate, he once built an apartment block without plans, permission, architects or surveyors. The building promptly collapsed causing the deaths of 58 people. He was pardoned for his sins by good friend and also dictator of Spain, General Franco.
- In his seventeen year tenure as club president Jesus Gil shut down the team's youth team, which lead to Raul moving up the road to Real Madrid and worked his way though 26 managers and made 144 signings.
- He also lead the club to one relegation, one La Liga title and two Spanish cup victories.
- After one particular defeat, Jesus Gil publicly wished for the player's plane to crash. He also threatened to feed under-performing players to a crocodile that had been given to him by the Madrid Zoo. This idea has recently been picked up by a number of other ego-driven club presidents.

Because of his somewhat controversial past, it was very hard to find anyone with a genuine, heart-felt good word to say about the quite literally larger-than-life figure, despite the best attempts of the footballing press, at their fawning and unquestioning worst. Instead, former Atletico player Paolo Futre summed up best how people felt about him, "unique, argumentative, and always speaking his mind". Code for "an absolute sod of a man".

On Friday night, a special charity match has been set up between Atletico and city rivals Real. The game has also branded by clever marketing people at both clubs, as a "match against racism." A bit rich really, when you consider that both these clubs are responsible for most of the racist abuse that takes place in La Liga.

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In Other News....

Ronaldo is out injured for the fourth time this season, after tweaking his thigh during some light exercise during training. The hopelessly out-of-shape and injury prone Brazilian has now missed eight La Liga matches for his club this season.

Osasuna reminded the world that success can come without spending big money. The second place Navarron club have not spent a bean on players this season and only forked out 200,000 euros on one player last year.

Real Sociedad's highly underrated Nihat is poised to move to Spartak Moscow in an 11.5 million euro deal. Quite how this is going to help the ailing club in their fight to avoid mid-table obscurity, no one knows.

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Thursday, December 29, 2005

A Chaotic Night in Sevilla

Real Betis President Permanently Alienates Best Player

Chaos and confusion reigned in Sevilla last night at a signing ceremony, designed to unveil two new much-needed strikers to the expectant media and fans. The Andalusian club, who never do things the easy way, had managed to track down two players, either greedy or unstable enough to join their relegation battle. The first up on the platform was Brazilian striker Roberto, fresh in from PSG, and all was going well. Shirt held up, smiles all round. A second Brazilian striker, Diego Tardelli had arrived from Sao Paolo and was due up next before the watching photographers. But then, there was a bit of an issue. His signing would have meant that the club had exceeded the number of non-EC players allowed in a squad.

This small detail was not a problem for resourceful president de Lopera. His plan was to persuade star striker Ricardo Oliveira, injured until the end of the season and at home in Brazil, to sign a 'baja', or sickness form - which would temporarily relieve the club of his services, and free up a spot in the squad for Tardelli. Clear so far?

The one tiny flaw in the plan was that Oliveira himself was not entirely enamored by this scheme, as this would have meant him being unable to play for the rest of the season, even if he had recovered from his injury sooner than expected. There was also no guarantee that the club would have him back in June. Ultimately, without Oliveira's signature on his own death warrant, no Tardelli. And Betis are desperate for strikers. Unbelievably, this small matter had not been resolved before Tardelli was due to put pen to paper on his move.

Rather than using tact and diplomacy to resolve this stand off, qualities de Lopera is not overly familiar with, el Presidente simply attacked the stricken Oliveira, "he is punishing Betis, by not signing himself off..." the Brazilian responded in kind by accusing the president of using him as a scapegoat for all the current problems of the team, who currently find themselves third from bottom.

In the end, whilst a confused press pack speculated on what had gone wrong, Oliveira faxed through his signature and the beaming de Lopera was able to introduce Tardelli to the world. This little saga is definitely not over.

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In Other News...

Atletico Madrid's attempts to sign Tomas Rosicky from Borussia Dortmund have reached a stumbling block over payment. Although a fee of 11 million euros has been agreed, the cash-strapped German club want most of the transfer fee to be paid up front. Atletico, who themselves are somewhat impoverished were hoping to pay up in installments, seemingly mistaking the Bundesliga outfit for DFS. Somehow, a deal will probably be thrashed out.

Juventus manager, Fabio Capello's decision to holiday in Spain, during Italy's winter break has got the local sporting press in a bit of a tizz, and have interpreted this event as a sure sign that he will be taking over the helm at Real in the summer. One paper is also reporting that he will be bringing a shopping list with him. According to "sources" he will requesting that the Madrid board pay out on Adriano, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Patrick Viera and the forehead-less Steven Gerrard. A rough estimate puts the total cost at a whopping 150 million euros.

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Cicinho Comes To Town

Real Madrid Break Self Imposed Transfer Policy After Just Three Days

Cicero Joao De Cesare or 'Cicinho' to his friends, is the latest crazy transfer gamble by president Perez and his band of merry men. Just days after declarations from the new Director of Sport that Real's focus for the team should be encouraging home-grown talent and avoiding imported stars, yet another Brazilian joins the beleaguered Galacticos. The twenty-five year old is set to be unveiled Thursday afternoon with the usual declarations of Real being the greatest paypacket, sorry, club in the world.

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Farewell to Henki

Despite a previous verbal agreement from Barcelona president Joan Laporta to a contract extension upto June 2007, Swedish striker Henki Larsson, has felt the way the wind is blowing and opted to leave the club at the end of this season, rather than cause a big EastEnders style scene. Henki's chances for the club have been sporadic due to an horrific injury last season, the stunning form of Samuel Eto'o and the rise and rise of Argentian wonderkid, Leo Messi. The wintry delights of Helsingborg are rumored to be his next port of call.

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Bilbao Manager Talks Rubbish. Again.

Excitable Athletic Bilbao coach Javier Clemente, full of energy after a Christmas rest is ready to take on the world. Or at least save his team from relegation. Still, the small matter of his team's lowly position is not dampening his enthusiasm for the new year..."I believe Athleti can be Champion of Everything!", he boasted.

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In Other News...

Racing Santander are to be given a whopping 2 million euros a year by the Cantabrian government, to help fund their youth scheme. The one that beat Real Madrid just the other day.

Ex-Deportivo coach tries out his best, "I love my new life, honest!" speech in a recent interview. "I am enjoying spending time with my family and friends..I am learning how to navigate the internet...and reading newspapers." he beamed whilst holding back tears of despair.

Inter Milan are sniffing around Villarreal's all round genius Riquelme as a summer replacement for Veron

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Real Unveil Latest Scheme

Brand New Powerless Bureaucrat joins Real Madrid

The managerial merry-go-round at Real Madrid continues, with the announcement of Benito Flores as the new Director of Sport, until 2008 - or at least until he gives up and walks out like his predecessor Sacchi, or is simply fired. Flores, who is probably just as confused by his new job responsibilities as Sacchi, has a bold new strategy to guide the Galacticos to calmer waters. In apparent agreement with President Perez, he envisages a Real Madrid team consisting of 50% homegrown talent, 30% high-quality Spanish players and 20% foreign players. As long as President Perez and his enforcer Butragueno say so. As Flores himself said, "The President is the one who makes the signings".

As the current first choice 11 (if that exists) for Real currently consists of 3 home grown players, 3 Spanish and 5 foreign players, there is some work to be done.

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LaPorta Contemplates Messing Up A Perfectly Good Team With Henry Signing

Arsenal have taken severe umbrage to Barca president Laporta's public ruminations on Thierry Henry as his next transfer conquest. However, as a rule, anything that any La Liga president proclaims to the fans and the news-hungry media can be taken with a pinch of salt - especially if there is an election in the air. Should Laporta be serious in his intent, it could well bugger up a team that, attacking wise, does not have too much wrong with it. Thierry Henry plays pretty much in the same position as Ronaldinho and one cannot imagine "the greatest player on the planet" giving way to the new arrival. The other option is to play him as a straight striker (an idea that has consistently failed for France), but again, Barca have the rather excellent Samuel Eto'o already occupying that position. We shall see if it is all bluster....

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Atletico de Madrid Board Decide Not To Fire Coach...For the Moment

Carlos Bianchi has been given the proverbial dreaded vote of confidence by Atletico's board. Not because of any particular faith they have in his abilities apart from that of losing leads, but rather to do with the effort, hassle and no doubt expense of booting the Argentinean coach out mid season. The club is still contemplating reinforcing the team in the transfer window, but the signings of Thomas Rosicky from Borussia Dortmund and Maniche from Dynamo Moscow already look in jeopardy, due to competition.

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In Other News....

Birmingham's Pandiani looks like swapping the delights of the Bullring for the beach with a move to Real Mallorca. You cannot blame him really.

Villarreal's Argentinean striker 'Lucho' Figuero has starting looking for a move out of the club, having spent most of the season on the bench. Lucho, ambitiously has plans to make it the 2006 World Cup but feels he needs more playing time. And a freak accident to the rest of the Argentinean strike-force.

Third from bottom Real Betis hope to have solved their goal scoring problems with the loan signing of Brazilian striker Robert from Paris Saint Germain. The clearly shy and retiring player announced himself to the fans of Betis with a picture of himself in the buff on his website, with the declaration of future glories to come. Let's all hope Dean Windass does not get the same idea.

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