Racing from Real Betis

Quick Capello Update....Cut and Paste the Spanish Thing...
http://www.football365.com/spanish_thing/0,17033,9405_2455358,00.html

By the time you read this, Real Madrid will either be on the point of sacking Fabio Capello, have sacked Fabio Capello, or have realised that the whole idea is lunacy and have despatched it to the file marked - Antonio Cassano. But more on that another day.

Barcelona, on the other hand, are happily locking away their latest prize specimens - although La Liga Loca has only heard of one of them - in the Camp Nou petting zoo.

To celebrate the arrival of Monsieur Henry, entertaining comic read Sport have asked Barcelona fans with access to mobile phones and a thumb, to text in a fancy name for their new bore some foursome. The winner certainly wasn’t the english language suggestion of “the four mechanical rollers", which maybe loses something in translation.

But away from the bright lights, there is still plenty of action to be found in the murky depths of the Primera.

It has been fun and games for Racing Santander, for a start. At the end of the season, manager for one year Miguel Angel Portugal walked out on the club - an action which caught club president, Francisco Pernia, a little off guard. “Contracts are for keeping”, grumbled the perplexed Presi, handily overlooking the day he threatened to relieve his manager of his own contract, before the Zigic affect kicked in.

However, Racing have managed to fill the not so gaping hole with Marcelino. The former Recreativo coach was expected to move down the road from Huelva to Real Betis. However, just one meeting with Manuel Ruiz de Lopera and Hugo was enough to persuade him that the move would be a very bad idea and decided to head to somewhere else that was fishy - but in a very different way.

Diego Forlán is enjoying the sensation of being a wanted man, for once. The Villarreal striker is involved in a tug of love between Atletico Madrid - who want him to fill in the mullet void of the departing Fernando Torres - and Valencia, who are willing to meet the 23 million Euro asking fee from the Yellow Submarines.

Valencia have wrapped up the inexpicable signing of beanpole blaster, Arizmendi, from Deportivo and Athlelic Bilbao have picked up the rather handy midfielder, David López from the running out of decent players Osasuna.

Still sulking from their Copa Del Rey choke, Getafe are flogging left back Paredes to Zaragoza for two million euros and have sent Maris back from whence he came - Dynamo Kiev.

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All blog content copyright of La Liga Loca 2007

The Fairly Predictable Team of the Year

La Liga Loca's Dirty Dozen (well, eleven)

It was whilst sitting through the awful ‘Last Days’ - a film reportedly based on the final hours of Kurt Cobain, before he opted for blowing his head off....incidentally, if La Liga Loca had wanted to watch a scruffily dressed recovering drug addict, mumbling incoherently, it would have watched its last performance on the Real Madrid talk show thingy.

But anyway, it was then, that La Liga Loca realised it was time to run through its very predictable team of the season.

Goalkeeper
El Pato and Casillas both had fine seasons, but it’s Andrés Palop who grabs the coveted number one jersey. His last minute goal against Shakhtar Donetsk and his stop against Dani Guiza on Saturday night, showed how crucial Palop has been to Sevilla’s miraculous rise.

Right Back
It can only be Dani Alves. He runs. He tackles. He runs. He shoots. He runs. And he seems to be nuclear powered, too.

Centre Back
Probably better as a right back, but Sergio Ramos wins one place thanks to his ability to get up the other end of the pitch and bang a few goals in, Tony Adams style. And he shouts a lot. Which is a good thing.

Centre Back
Filthy and shows no mercy. Two excellent traits of centre back, Javi Navarro. Navarro’s performances for his club have been so good that the Sevilla captain won a place in the national side, this season. And leading his side to three trophies is pretty good going, too.

Left Back
Not a huge amount of candidates for this spot, but it goes to Real Madrid’s Miguel Torres. A two legged lesson to the club to stop wasting bags of catch on the likes of Marcelo and look closer to home, more often. Torres, is a little like Gary Neville. Solid, but not spectacular. And that’s fine for a full back.

Right Midfield
Perhaps playing a little deeper than he would like, but Leo Messi can hug the wing in La Liga Loca’s eleven. The blog is even willing to overlook the fact that he is an enormous cheat, such is his genius.

Centre Midfield
Sevilla’s Christian Poulsen must do something to wind people up. Spat at by Totti in Euro 2004 and punched by a Swede in an international a few weeks back is fairly good going. Maybe it is his ability to harass, block, annoy and generally be a midfield pain in the arse, that makes him so popular with his fellow professionals.

Centre Midfield
Not a regular starter for his club, but definitely would be for La Liga Loca’s title winning eleven, Andrés Iniesta is set to be one of the players dropped to make way for Thierry Henry, according to ‘Sport’. This would be a travesty for possibly the palest man on the planet - and the best simultaneous Ant and Dec look alike in the world.

Left Midfield
Only one man for this role, the player voted as the revelation of the season by his fellow professionals, it’s Valencia’s corking Canary Islander, David Silva. Silva is a footballer who took advantage of Vicente’s never ending injury woes to make him the world’s strongest left winger since Arthur Scargill.

Striker
Ruud Van Nistelrooy, of course.

Striker
And a tough decision for his striking partner, but it has to be Freddie Kanouté. The Malian may look like he hates every second he plays the game - but he does it so well. Kanouté would be the perfect foil for the Dutchman, due to his love of leaving the box every now and again. And scowling.

Honourable mentions

Iván de la Penña, Rául Tamudo, Mario Cotelo, Francisco Casquero, David López, Nikola Zigic, Santiago Carzorla, Robert Pires, Diego Milito, Andrés D´Alessandro.

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All blog content copyright of La Liga Loca, 2007.

Laporta's Lost Cause

Oh dear. Joan ‘Joan’ Laporta’s warlike words from Tuesday, have gone down as well as a veggie burger in Valencia, with the Barcelona players. Tough new championship winning regulations such as banning Ipods from team meals and mobiles from the dressing room have been met with a less than enthusiastic responses from the Culés

“We’re not children”, retorted Edmilson with the bravery of a footballer who knows he is about to be flogged to side who need a lanky waste of space in their midfield. Deco - always up for a moan - commented that “I don’t agree with much of what he said, but he’s the president."

Meanwhile Barcelona have lost the services of the poodle-haired Carles Puyol for three months after he knacked his knee in the club’s South African friendly on Wednesday. He will be missing out on all the fun of the side’s Far East tour in August where the team will be playing a bunch of clubs no one has ever heard off.

Valencia have elbowed themselves into the news agenda again. Just days after Amedeo Carboni was kicked out of the club, manager Quique decided to give the same treatment to his three man tecnnical team. Having been called to his house on Tuesday, Quique told the trio that their sponge squeezing services were no longer required. “He gave us weird, stupid reasons for it” grumbled one sackee soon after, perhaps forgetting the fifty seven odd injuries the side picked up in training sessions over the past year.

Atletico Madrid’s new midfielder, Raul Garcia, has bragged that his move from Osasuna is a “step forward” in his career, despite the fact that he is leaving a side that qualified for the Champions League last season and got through to the UEFA Cup semis, this year, to join...well...Atletico Madrid, whose only experience with Europe is training camps in the Canaries.

Across the city, the Capello v Schuster debate has been as ubiquitous as that frickin’ Shakira song. The rumours are increasing that Capello will be moved out, “I’m not resigning, it’s Calderón’s problem”, and Schuster will be moved in after Saturday’s Copa del Rey final.

However, the teutonic Titan doesn’t think that it’s a good idea to dispense with the services of the manager who actually won them something, “there’s one thing that Real don’t need and it’s a new manager”, he declared.

Meanwhile, should the potty-headed president wish to dispense with Capello’s services, he will find it very difficult to do, as the Italian has gone on holiday to a remote region of Tibet with no mobile coverage. Looks like Mijatovic will be off on his travels with a lama and a battered rucksack in the next couple of days.

The latest made up transfer gossip in the papers has Gabi Milito moving to Real Madrid, Racing’s Garay to Juventus, Forlan to Atletico, Valencia or Aston Villa and Baiano to Galatasaray.

And finally, AS received a rap on the knuckles from AC Milan after the paper manipulated a photo of Kaka. The sports rag ran a photo of the striker supposedly holding up a copy of the paper from June 18th - the Real are champions edition - suggesting, ‘look! he wants to come here!’. The actual photo was taken on May 4th.

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All blog content copyright of La Liga Loca, 2007

A Special Guest Column

Not being relegation constitues a good season for Espanyol, so here's the year end musings of Paul from Barcelona, today's guest blogger, on how things were his end.

But keep sending in your thoughts by either clicking on comments or emailing laligaloca@yahoo.co.uk over t'internet.


"La Curva"awards

Best Team-Sevilla, played great football, didn't need to use their hands and beat us in the UEFA (just to show i'm fair), Runner-up;Recre-totally outplayed us,should have won by 3 or 4

Worst Team-Real Sociedad, What a shower, did nothing for 90 mins. Runner- up -Levante,didn't want to kick the ball,only shins.

Best Match-Espanyol 3 Benfica 2, it had everything and the best atmosphere of the year.
Runner -up- Espanyol 3 Barça 1, Should have been 7 or 8(Double true).

Worst Match -Espanyol 0 'Nastic 1,worst Espanyol performance at home,EVER.
runner-up-Nastic 4 Espanyol 0,see above,but Away.

Best Player-Dani Alves-scared the crap out of me every time he got the Ball,he's a bloody full-back. runner up-Andres D'Alessandro,i was thankful Aimar wasn't playing until i saw this guy.

Worst Player-Berson(Levante) didn't seem to know what a ball was,just kicked anything that moved for 90mins.and yes Esapnyol tried to sign him a couple of years back.

Espanyol Best Player.-Because of his age and his consistency-Marc Torrejon(The Rock)
Rookie year(Love those yanks) and he and Jarque played their hearts out against Sevilla(UEFA)

Espanyol Worst player-Lacruz.Below average as a full back but a centre half!!!,i'd prefer De la Peña played centre half than him.

Best Away Supporters-Real Sociedad,they were a credit to their team,sang for most of the match and tried to give life to a dead duck of a team.

Worst Away Supporters-Benfica-4,000 people who didn't make a sound until they scored.Thank god we made enough noise for the both of us.

Goal of the season-Raul Tamudo against Sevilla,he turned the defender inside out with a bit of skill that if it had been done by that well-known handball player,you would've creamed in your jeans,Then a great finish.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3AsQMfad68

Runner up-Jonatas-50 yard along the ground(Athletic away)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbojTloUTeQ

Best Miss-Cani(Villarreal)from less than yard,still can't believe it.

Best Save-Gorka(Benfica away)to this day i still don't know how he got to it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_Gw6kes7TI.if you don't believe me.

Worst Ref decision-Espanyol's Penalty against Betis.The whole crowd insulted the Ref for giving us a Penalty.it was that bad.(Shock result,you thought i was going say something else,Didn't you?)Runner up-Sending Moises off for Winning the ball cost us the UEFA.

Cheating B****** of the Year-If you don't know the answer then Shame on you and your family.It could have won the league.

Worst Haircut-Sergio Garcia(Zaragoza).a badly done Forlan,Runner up Sergio Garcia(Zaragoza)a badly done Vanilla Ice.

Best/worst comment by somebody British at our Stadium-"What colours are Espanyol playing in,mate,?(stag night moron surrounded by people in blue and white striped shirts)
Runner up-"This 0(as in 0%)beer is mental,i'm f++++++ steaming

Strangest thing that happened-A bloke standing next to me who did a running commentary in English down the phone in the style of BBC sport website live text,Kept calling us "Home team"

Best thing that happened-Beating,no thrashing Barça at home,then them not winning the league despite trying ever dirty trick in the book.I think they are asking for a recount. and their fans taking a beating off Plod on Sunday.

Hype of the year-The legal goal by Messi that wasn't as good as that Peruvian player's(Swedish League)one.
Runner up,Bojan Krikic.seems a nice kid but is not the cure for cancer as they want you to believe.

Best columnist-Mr Tim Stannard for his 365 pieces this year,consistently funnier than Sid Lowe ,which is not easy to do. (I would have to say Don Sid is still the best - modest Tim)

Best Spanish football site-Oh Please!!!!!!!!!!!


So there you go,on a personal note i want to thank all Pericos for supporting their team until the death all year,you've been magnificent.
And of course Tim.

I hope i speak for all of us when i say,Thanks a lot for everything,for keeping us informed ,amused and we hope you are doing this for a long time yet and for being a top bloke through his emails(go on leave it in ,you deseve it).I don't know him,Honest!!!
and finally to my fans(you know who you are)thanks for the feedback,i see myself as the voice of reason in a world of Armchair cules (copyright DES).

Paul, Barcelona

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All blog content copyright of La Liga Loca 2007.

Capello to be Culled?"

There was La Liga Loca, pensively pondering on the weekend’s bad guys...but it was all too late. The potty Primera had moved on...and so has this blog. We start of today’s reportage of truths, half truths and made up stuff in the weeping and wailing Catalan capital, the land of losers, the barrio of bottlers.

Joan ‘not a girl’s name’ Laporta has had a whiff of being second best and decided that it is not to his taste. On Tuesday, the portly president donned his gimp mask, cracked his whip and announced that there were to be some changes around the Camp Nou, next season. Apart from the fact that ‘dinho and Eto’o and Rijkaard would all be staying put.

“We won’t tolerate any bad behaviour”, he shouted from his newly built pain dungeon. “Dirty laundry should be washed at home”, he continued as he stared at a scowling Samuel Eto’o, dirty launderer in chief. Laporta went on to hint that there would be no more ‘gym sessions’ for Ronaldinho. No more late arrivals from holidays for Ronaldinho. And less promotional activities for the club and er, Ronaldinho. Aside from Wednesday’s jaunt to South Africa, of course.

Over in Castle Greyskull, it seems that Fabio Capello is set to be booted out of the door, after winning the league and making Ramón Calderón look like a bit of a tit - although he does a fine job of that himself “Let’s see what happens after the Copa del Rey final”, revealed the preposterous president as he headed off on the club’s ‘match of peace’ in Tel Aviv on Tuesday, thus giving a whopping hint that big Bernd Schuster is being lined up.

“Not so fast”, says Getafe president, Angel Torres, who has caught wind of a rumour in the capital that his coach signed a pre contract agreement with the Bernabeu big boys. “If there was I will report them to UEFA and FIFA”, fumed the bearded bore, “I’m trying to get proof that hs signed something days before Easter”, continued the Real Madrid ‘socio’ who may find that his new season ticket arrives in a thousand plastic pieces.

Fabio Capello has spoken out to an Italian paper about his tempestuous time at the club, “I was a salmon, running against the current”, he recalled poetically. However, the Italian is keen to come back for more of the same in July, “ I have a return plane ticket”, he revealed, “and I want to win the Champions league”. The managerial ball is now firmly in Calderón’s court. Watch him blast it over the stands like an English tennis player.

Atletico Madrid shocked the world on Tuesday, by actually doing something smart. After a fair amount of um-iing and no little ahh-ing, president Enrique Cerezo has renewed the flat topped Javier Aguirre’s contract for another year, despite his failed promise to lead them directly into Europe.

“We had a bad campaign but our passion is still intact”, beamed the Mexican manager. Soon after, the club revealed the signing of Osasuna and Spain U21 nut job Raul Garcia for 12 million euros and five years. The player ‘too ugly to play for Real Madrid’ according to Guti was pictured yesterday standing next to two men with white coats, as he waved to the cameras. And people wearing white coats seems to be a very comforting thing to the Spanish. Especially, if they a flogging cheap tit jobs on early evening tv.

Racing Santander are in the hunt for a new manager, after Miguel Angel Portugal walked out to become Real Madrid’s new technical director (what ever that is). Deportivo are lining up Sociedad boss Lotina as their new - probably quite cheap - boss. Recreativo are sniffing around the market for a replacement for Marcelino.

Espanyol have had a good week. First of they struck a deal with boldy battler Ivan de la Peña, before announcing the purchase of Real Madrid’s third choice keeper Casilla, currently playing for Castilla, but stuck behind Casillas.

And finally, Quique Sanchex Flores has won the battle of wills in Mestalla. Puffed up presi, Juan Soler, fired director of sport, Amedeo Carboni on Tuesday, who was pictured soon after, packing his belongs into the boot of his car. Those brave enough to question him were told “I don’t want to talk about it”, by the unemployed Italian. But hopefully, he will soon.

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Emails...Emails...

Espanyol's Limp End

Chalk and cheese comes to mind, as well as Jim Davidson and comedy. The Festival of Tamudo turned out to be "Aguafiestas" Rain on the party or wet blanket to give it it's correct translation.

!0 man Depor played well and scored two great goals,especially from ex Perico and big mate of Tamudo, Sergio. Who in previous years has been accused of not trying against his old mates and great goal from Riki, who has come a long way from Albert square (C'mon tell me you wouldn't have used that gag)and always scores against us.

A draw was probably a fair result,but well done Depor. So Celta are down,can't say i'm displeased,but feel sorry for Real Sociedad. Season review next week for those who care,are presuming Tim can be arsed.

But an early thanks to Tim for letting me rant on his page and thanks for the feedback and i'm amazed that some Barça fans can actually read,the replies are usually in crayon drawings but are still welcome.

Paul, Barcelona.

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All blog content copyright of La Liga Loca, 2007

The Final Good Day....

Coming up soon...the Bad Boys (yes, you Atletico)...

Good Day

Fabio Capello

At the Mallorca press conference, Capello was either joking, pointing upwards or serious, when he gave one journalist the finger, for the crime of asking whether he would be staying on. To be fair, it was the tenth time, a persistant press man had posed the question. “Ask Calderón”, was his stock reply. “Ask Mijatovic”, was Calderón’s response. If Capello has any sense, he should get out of Dodge now and find a club that knows what it’s doing. But for more on a good day for Real Madrid, copy and paste here.
http://www.football365.com/story/0,17033,9405_2418485,00.html


José Antonio Reyes

The Bernabeu was a spine-tingling place to be on Sunday night, especially for bench warmer extraordinaire, Reyes. Real Madrid now owe one league title to a player who will almost certainly be sent back to Arsenal at the end of the month and then possibly Atletico Madrid.

“I needed to have worked harder to win a place in the team”, confessed the work shy winger. Nevertheless, he will probably get a free drink in bars in at least one half of the city.

Real Betis

For ten minutes or so, La Liga Loca’s doom mongering prediction for Betis’ imminent relegation was coming true. Stuck at 0-0 and with Celta Vigo winning, it was almost curtains...until Edu popped up with a handily timed double strike. Sadly, the brief moment of joy is only temporary for Betis fans who can expect a summer of turmoil as the opposition to Manuel Ruis de Lopera builds.
And La Liga Loca will be there for all the dirt.

Athletic Bilbao

Easy peasy in the end, thanks to an unfortunate Levante own goal and an unmarked Gabilondo heading home late on. However, a second successive season fighting relegation and only one point from the drop zone this season, suggests that Athletic’s summer time election campaign may be centred on whether the club’s current Basque only policy is sustainable - “we must reflect on these last two seasons”, says a chin stroking head honcho Ana Urquijo.

Recreativo

In the end, Marcelino’s merry men grabbed a fine eighth placed finish, six points behind Atletico, but eleven from the danger zone. The problem is that next season, the club will be Marcelino-less, as Sunday’s home draw with Zaragoza was the final match for the miracle manager. ‘Chapeau’ Recreativo.

Villarreal

Eight wins in row has shot the Yellow Submarines into the UEFA cup place with a sprint finish that Seb Coe himself would have been proud off. “Not an easy thing to do”, said a beaming Pellegrini. With a fully fit Pires and Nihat and Ayala to reinforce the defence, the next season could be a good one for Villarreal - but only if they keep their mits on Diego Forlán, a very wanted man by many teams.

Diego Milito

For a while, it looked like Zaragoza were going to be dropping out of the European spots at 1-0 down to Recreativo after thirty three rounds in the comfort zone. But up popped Diego Milito for goal number twenty three in a superb season, for both himself and his team. At the beginning of the year, La Liga Loca thought they might sneak a Champions League spot, but a resilient Sevilla put paid to that idea. “Whatever happens, the season has been a success" said Victor Fernandez before the match. Quite right.

Sevilla

It may have been a home defeat in Sevilla’s last match of the league season, but it was still a superb effort from Juande Ramos and his side, to be in the title running on the final day - “We’ve got two titles, a Champions League spot”, declared a manager who will be hoping to pick up trophy number three on Saturday in the Copa del Rey. Providing he can find enough players who are neither injured nor away with their countries.

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Any good guys missed? Just click on comments for your say.

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All blog content copyright La Liga Loca 2007.

A Special Treat for Real Fans

Quotes of the Week

Wise Words

“Architecturally, its fine. Modern, functional” - Feuding Espanyol president, Daniel Sánchez Llibre gives his rather literal view of the Barcelona presidential box - somewhere he refuses to sit.

“When I went back to training, the next day, there was the money” - ‘Nastic’s Gil Ribeiro confirms the worst kept secret in Spain - ‘primas’ do exist, after he confirmed a payment for grabbing a point off Betis on 19th May.

“Geniuses don’t have hands” - Juan Cruz writing in AS in explaining Messi’s own Maradona-esque miracle. And also making La Liga Loca regret the day it missed the ‘Albert Einstein had a hook’ class, back in school.

“Victoria probably has plans in Hollywood” - Ramón Calderón’s cunning theory as to why Beckham is heading to the MLS. So, nothing to do with failing to offer the midfielder a new contract in January - which Beckham claimed on Thursday.

“My obligations were done and done well” - Atletico president, Enrique Cerezo, yet to reach the ‘taking responsibility’ section of his management training course.

“At the beginning of the season, all the players seemed to be good” - Cerezo also yet to reach the ‘not insulting your squad’ section, either.

“I would like to say good-bye another way, but they said it wasn’t possible” - Valencia’s soon to be former defender, Ayala sneaks out the back door of the Mestalla.

“I would have preferred it, if we hadn’t qualified for Europe so soon” - Getafe president, Angel Torres, in a thinly veiled Atletico taunt.

“We either get an investor who we close the shutters” - Deportivo’s legal assessor, German Conchado, on the rather bleak future for the debt ridden club.

“You were partying on Friday, Morientes, we have the photos” - Taunts from angry Valencia fans who stormed the side’s training session on Wednesday.

“If there was a way of motivating our players, Calderon did it for us, for free” - three million euro ‘primas’ not needed on Sunday night, says Mallorca big wig, Vicente Grande, a man who should be looking very closely at his vol au vents on the Bernabeu balcony.

“Let’s see his Calderón’s face when the match ends” - says Mallorca’s Maxi Lopez, unaware the the side lines are not so good from the Bernabeu bench.

“You are the son of a giant whore” - La Liga Loca’s favourite referee taunting moment of the season, courtesy of Celta’s Pablo Garcia.

“It’s a lack of respect that they have made me come back” - Freddie Kanouté not a happy chap after being ordered back from the Mali camp by a FIFA declaration.

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Emails...Emails...

The Ever Growing 'Paul from Barcelona' fan club

Dear Paul

When you criticise Messi at least dont call him "you
know who" sounds like you are talking about Voldermort
from Harry Potter. Which may be strangely appropriate
because your whole team fears him more than they would
an evil all powerful tyrant!..

I respect your loyalty to a small team and I concede
that they are a gutsy small team, but please get a
grip on reality!

We may be a dissfunctional egoistic and arrogant but
we play beautiful!! Fact is Barca ripped you to shreds
last saturday and you were just LUCKY you sqeezed a
draw....justice I dont think so!!

This may be a good thing cos now we have an excuse to
kick out some of this bunch: Giuly, Edmilson, Marquez,
Sylvinho, Gio, Belletti and Oleguer... who knows your
team may be the perfect home for some of these below
average joes...

Regards

Sanjin

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The Great Weekend Predictions

Squeaky Bum Time

And so, the end is near, it’s time to face the final footballing curtain. And it’s also time for La Liga Loca to place its cards on the table and its nose to the wind by making bold and foolish predictions for the final day showdown. And then watch them come out wrong.

And as a disclaimer, the same rule that tipping Manchester United or Chelsea to win the Premiership, does not make one a Manchester United or Chelsea fan, applies below. So there.

(For more ramblings, cut and paste here for the latest from the Spanish Thing)
http://www.football365.com/spanish_thing/0,17033,9405_2359939,00.html

The Title

In La Liga Loca’s ideal world, it would be Sevilla lifting the league title trophy. Mainly because they have consistently been the best side in the league this season, considering squad and resources available. And it would leave the Spanish football press completely dumbstruck. Always good to see.

But it won’t be Sevilla, as Juande Ramos’ men will be signing off a fine campaign will pick up another 0-0 draw against Villarreal.

But it won’t be Real Madrid either. La Liga Loca has a growing feeling in its waters that Mallorca will be party poopers by snatching a 1-1 draw. Why? Continuing poor form at home as shown by the lucky escape against Espanyol and a rather half hearted performance against a second rate Deportivo. Uncertainty over whether Robinho and Diarra will play. David Beckham’s dodgy ankle. And Mallorca are more than capable of grabbing a point at the Bernabeu.

Which leaves Barcelona as somewhat fortunate Champions after their 3-0 win away at relegated ‘Nastic. Frank Rijkaard’s side have been written off by pretty much everyone in Spain. But when you are level on points on the final day, this is a foolish thing to do. Expect another hefty fine to be heading Samuel Eto’o’s way for some potty mouthed posturing.

There is also the possibility of someone at the Bernabeu hitting the fire alarm with fifteen minutes to go, if things aren't going Real's way.


UEFA Cup

More pain for Atletico is La Liga Loca’s feeling. A defeat away to a pumped up Osasuna, who like nothing more than spanking Madrid sides - metaphorically of course - will mean than the rojiblancos will not be able to take advantage of neither Villarreal’s draw nor Zaragoza’s.

Going down, doing down?

Adios Betis. In the cold hard light of day, there is nothing to indicate that Betis will come away with anything but a defeat away to Racing Santander - despite the opponents being injury hit.

The future is a little brighter for Celta Vigo at home who will beat a Getafe side saving themselves for the Cup Final and it will be another escape for Athletic Bilbao who should squeeze past Ian Harte’s Levante.

Going Down - ‘Nastic, Real Sociedad, Real Betis.

Care to join in? Just click on comments for your say

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All blog content copyright of La Loca Loca, 2007

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

Helguera and Mallorca do...

Most of the time, it’s hard to feel sorry for trillionaire footballers. Even Fernando Torres who undoubtedly feels that he must have been Vlad the Impaler in one of his past lives. But there must be a tiny bit of sympathy for Ivan Helguera, a man who was just eight minutes from a million euros, on Saturday night.

Helguera’s current Real Madrid contract stipulates that should he play in thirty games this season, he would receive a whopping million euro bonus.Against Real Zaragoza, he was due to be warming the bench, stuck on match number twenty nine. But then a hamstring knack to Miguel Torres threw him into action. ‘I’m rich! rich!’, cried Helguera - before the Real Madrid bean counters pointed out, that actually, he wasn’t.

The problem was that his contract stipulated that he had to have played over forty five minutes in his thirty games - which was fine for twenty eight of them. For the other two, he only played forty five exactly and thirty eight. A suspension for the final match of the season has now left the hand balling Helguera, without his promised loot.

Elsewhere in the Calderón Kremlin, the aforementioned president woke up on Tuesday morning and realised that he had not said or done something incredibly foolish for at least a day, so decided to open his gob to explain away his laughable lap of honour at Zaragoza. “It was not a lap, I was doing it to thank the fans”, said Real Madrid’s big cheese before going off to invent more magic clauses in David Beckham’s contract.

Calderón’s minions in the press and club were also wheeled out to support his revisionist explanations with some gusto, “Thank you to the Kennedy of Spanish football”, gushed the loathsome Roberto Gómez in Marca. “He was just thanking the fans”, confirmed Iker Casillas reading something scribbled onto the back of his hand. Perhaps.

Meanwhile, Raul was busy trying to undo another fine mess from his president, by claiming that the side had to be ‘humble and cautious” against Mallorca - two words rarely used to describe his boss.

Across the Mediterranean, Mallorca’s players have denied that any ‘primas’ - bribes - from Cataluyna are needed to motivate them to mess up Real Madrid’s big night on Sunday. Defender Sergio Ballesteros declared that. “I don’t want them and I don’t need them.”. “I’ll f**king have that !” he may have declared, second later, once the press advised him that the squad would allegedly receive 3,000,000 euros if they sneaked a win.

Over in Barcelona, Edmilson has talked himself into a transfer to Tarragona after suggesting that Rijkaard has some work to do in the dressing room, “when things aren’t going well at home, you have to fix them”, he said mysteriously, before going on to grab Fernando Alonso’s whiner of the week award by moaning that “when we win, the superstars get the praise but when we lose, it’s those who carry the piano who get the blame.”

The last team in the titanic trio chasing the title on Sunday, Sevilla, have hinted that everyone has got it in for them. “If Sevilla had scored a goal using a hand, we’d all be in prison”, said striker Chevanton, who may know something in the FEF rules, that no one else does.

Former Betis manager, Luis Fernandez, has spoken out after his rather unexpected sacking on Sunday and put the finger on the cause of the club’s decline - “it’s a good group but they lack a leader on the pitch”, he opined. Meanwhile, goalie, Pedro Contreras has come up with a cunning plan to save their skins on Sunday. He has asked his team-mates to ring up mates in the clubs playing Athletic Bilbao, Real Sociedad and Celta Vigo to urge them to put a bit of effort in. Genius.

Celta Vigo’s ground is set to be sold out on Sunday - perhaps for the first time ever - after the club decided to drop ticket prices down to two euros - “cheaper than a bottle of Fairy Liquid”, commented a surrealistic Marca on Tuesday. If La Liga Loca is missing some kind of washing up related link here, pleae write in.

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Emails...Emails...

Any Other Star Spotting?

Well there i was queuing up to buy a coke zero and a Bounty,when some bloke walked to the front of the queue and started buying sweets for the little one who was with him. Well as in all cases,i went "OI"Theres a queue here mate(translation from Spanish)Said man looked straight through me ,walked out of the shop to his giant 4x4 which was illegally parked in a taxi lane.Nobody else said a word.I would have normally done that Stoke classic,Ere mate do you like Fish?well there's a Place(Geddit?)in the back of the queue.But it loses it's meaning in Spanish,
Anyway back to arrogant bloke,Step Forward Espanyol Reject Samuel Eto'o.Not as a big as he looks on telly may i add.
But the next day,same shop..Eider Gudjonsson,nice bloke,got his autograph for my nephew and his wife was something else.He didn't want special treatment.Nicest Barça player i have met since Jari Litmanen,who was having a coffee on his own a few years back,we invited him to join us,he chatted for an hour and bought the coffees,Top bloke.

Paul,Barcelona.

This is going to get letters...(disclaimer, etc)

Personally I hope that Barca develop a squad-levelling case of Bad AIDS for all the Henry-noncing they've been doing.

Fred, Arsenal fan, UK

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All blog content copyright of La Liga Loca, 2007

Monday´s Good Day, Bad Day

Bad Day

Barcelona

Gun loaded. Check. Own foot in the sights. Check. Bang! Barcelona’s last minute mistake against against Real Betis was careless. The humdinger of a howler against Espanyol was borderline criminal. And Frank Rijkaard knows it. The Dutchman may have been keeping up a stiff upper lip after Saturday’s draw but he knew that his side had thrown away a wonderful chance to grab a third consecutive league title, “we have fought and we will keep on fighting”. For second place, it now appears.

For more on the Saturday night circus, just cut and paste here.
http://www.football365.com/spanish_thing/0,17033,9405_2199746,00.html

Real Betis

Dark days indeed for Real Betis. A 0-5 home thrashing by Osasuna to leave them on the edge of the abyss; seats being ripped up by fans; cries of ‘mercenaries’ at the players; pitch invasions and an attempt to storm the presidential balcony all featured on Saturday night. So how has Manuel Ruis de Lopera decided to steady the ship ahead of the side’s rescue mission at Racing? By sacking, Luis Fernandez, that’s how.

Leo Messi

An indignant Madrid press have already started to demand the head of Leo Messi on a plate as punishment for his ‘hand of God’ moment, against Espanyol. However, they may want to start their clean up campaign, a little closer to home and recall Ruud Van Nistelrooy’s handy help in Madrid’s first effort against Deportivo, a fortnight ago.

Ramon Calderón

Whether it was a side affect from being trapped in a hotel lift for twenty minutes, but Ramon Calderón’s solo lap of honour of La Romareda may well be replayed in cackling Catalan homes for years to come, should his side fail to do the business next Sunday. “I didn’t mean to offend anyone”, panted the pumped up presi after his impromptu tour.

Atletico Madrid

“They have gone from being a legend, to a circus”, laments the long suffering Iñaki Díaz-Guerra in AS. Nine goals conceded in the last two home games, tells the story of how Atletico are blowing their European hopes in truly spectacular style, this season.

Without coming over Alan Hansen, as it were, the defending against a not exactly swash buckling Celta Vigo was abysmal - even by Atletico’s standards and the protesting fans know it. “They are right to be angry”, said Javier Aguirre after the match, “we went out to win but were victims of our emotion,” moaned the Mexican after the match as he headed for the fire escape. La Liga Loca believes that his comments on Friday that, “the team seem really relaxed these days”, may be the root of the rojiblanco rot. That and Peter Luccin getting sent off for the third time, this season.

Sevilla

The so called ‘FIFA virus’ had robbed Sevilla of both Kanouté and Kerchakov for their mission to Mallorca. So it really didn’t help |Juande Ramos’ cause when he lost Jesus Navas in the warm up and Adriano, just ten minutes into the game. There will be a lot of 'what if’s' from sick as a parrot Sevilla fans over the next few days as they contemplate the missed chance of giving Real Madrid and Barça the fright of their lives.

But it was not to be. Instead, supporters should take pride in the fact their side are still in win a shout of glory on the last day of the season, “we’ve pushed it to the end and the effort of our players has been total and absolute”, declared Ramos proudly.

Athletic Bilbao

An inconvenient, but not unexpected defeat at the hands of Villarreal for Athletic, who must surely be looking at Sunday’s home leg with Levante, as their means of salvation. Atletico Madrid’s capitulation certainly didn’t do them any favours, though.

Savio

It was a tearful end of the match for Real Sociedad’s Savio, a blubbering battler who had single handely been keeping la Real in the survival race, since joining in the winter break. On the eighty-eighth minute and at 0-0, the striker blasted a penalty straight at Calatayud in the Racing Santander goal. With that missed effort, went his side’s last realistic hopes of staying up. “This happens in football. You have to keep going on”, said a crestfallen Lotina in support of his misfiring forward.

Valencia

There is something strangely comforting about the predictability of the traditional end of season collapse. Four conceded and three off, in a feisty derby day on Saturday night.


Deportivo

Not even trying now, apparently.


Good Day

Real Madrid

This may not sound much like a compliment, but Real Madrid are the unkillable cockroaches of Spanish football. They seem to have more lives than a collection of cats. In their recent run, Real have fought back against Sevilla, Espanyol, Recreativo and now, twice more against Real Zaragoza. The hard work for Fabio Capello will now be to keep the Real Madrid feet firmly on the ground, as Real Mallorca are more than capable of making life difficult at the Bernabeu, next Sunday. Especially, the way the defence is playing at the moment.

Espanyol

With a expectant sigh, it's over to Paul in Barcelona, for a reserved reflection on the night’s events at the Camp Nou and some sympathy for Espanyol’s plucky opponents. Only kidding.

What goes around comes around.

Despite all the cheating,AND HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN SAYING THIS. The diving,the intimidation of the ref.We did it. Words fail me about "you know who",What does he have to do to even get booked. He should receive an automatic 3 match ban or three rounds with me, whatever is deemed appropriate.

Ok the match, as per usual we were herded to the lap of the gods(for our own protection,Yeah right) and had to pay 65 euros for the equivalent of Michael Jordan watching a subutteo match whilst standing up a ladder.

As per usual we made more noise than the so-called"fans" of Barça and when we went ahead, great goal by the way, the 3,000 of us went mental. Not as mental of course as when they"Equalised?". even we could see there was something not quite right, then the news came through from the radio, There was nearly a riot.

So second half, a foul by Deco( another cheating bastard) led to a goal by someone who shouldn't have been on the pitch. Who then spent the rest of the match doing impersonations of Bambi on ice and Robbie Savage when he has his period.

Needless to say the worlds worst winners were loving it (copyright McDonalds) but thanks to The Princess Anne look-a-like and the Wonderful Raul Tamudo with the best goal of the game in the last minute,thank you,thank you ,thank you, Justice was served.

Things that need to happen now.
1)An investigation into how the linesman and referee didn't see the most blatant handball since that Atletico one.
2)The player is charged with bringing the game into disrepute.
3)Said player is forced to make a Public apology to all the Kids who watched this game.
4)That Madrid don't F+++ it up now.
5)That 'Nastic go down in a blaze of glory, Paco Flores, Copa Catalunya semi -final(the ref basically scored Barça's goals),Portillo etc

All week we've been told that The league was won and that Divine justice would prevail. well one out of two ain't bad.


Paul, Barcelona

Celta Vigo

“If we stay up, I’ll walk the Camino de Santiago”, promised full back Angel, after their unlikely 3-2 victory at the Calderon, on Saturday night. La Liga Loca feels in his waters that his walking boots and ruck sack will remain untouched in his Galician garage. Especially if they continue to behave like big girl’s blouses, “the players were in the dressing room, crying with joy”, revealed Stoichkov after the match.

Diego Forlán

A remarkable run of seven wins in a row from Villarreal means that the Yellow Submarines have cruised in a UEFA cup berth, just ahead of Atletico Madrid. And it was thanks to two more goals from the bombastic boots of Diego Forlán. The Urugayuan’s poaching prowess will be needed again, next Sunday, against Sevilla, if Villarreal are to secure another European adventure, next season.

Osasuna

Having upset their own fans by beating Real Sociedad a fortnight ago, Osasuna made sure the balance was restored by hammering their relegation rivals 5-0. “Betis seemed a little nervous”, mused Ziganda after the victory. Quite.

Recreativo

Five goals !

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Anyone missed? Just click on comments for your say.

The Great Weekend Preview

Saturday

Atletico Madrid (6th) v Celta Vigo (19th)

It’s tissues at the ready for what will be the emotional reunion of two old Bulgarian buddies at the Calderon - Atletico’s Spurs bound Martin Petrov and Celta’s Segunda bound, Hristo Stoichkov. “As a player, he always had a winning character and he’s transmitting that to Celta”, gushed Petrov on his mentor, before being handed a copy of the current league table. A win for the rojiblancos should be enough to squeeze them into a UEFA cup spot, providing Real Madrid beat Zaragoza. Anything less than three points for Celta and the Galicians will be facing Granada 74 next season - which is another strange story. Home win.

Real Betis (16th) v Osasuna (14th)

As much as it pains La Liga Loca to its stone cold soul, Manuel Ruiz de Lopera and his moaning menagerie at Betis may have one teenie tiny point, in their long list of excuses for the club’s possible relegation - the FEF does indeed appear to have it in for them. A string of iffy last minute penalties against Betis, the odd random sending off and being banished from their own stadium - a punishment nearly every club in the Primera has deserved at some point - suggests that the tin foil beanie hat brigade at Betis may be right. Still, if they fail to pick up the last three points needed to stay up, on Saturday night, then tough titties. Home win.

Real Sociedad (18th) v Racing Santander (18th)

Not a great few days in the life of Real Sociedad. And that’s saying something for this club. Last week, a tearful president, Miguel Fuentes stepped down under a fair amount of pressure from disgruntled fans. But that isn’t enough according to the main opposition supporter’s group - “it shouldn’t just be him, it should be all of them”, grumbled one member. If La Real fail to beat Racing, he may well get his wish. Draw

Levante (15th) v Valencia (4th)

A local derby which might well help moustachioed magnate, Juan Bautista Soler, make his mind up over what he will be doing with his duelling duo, Quique and Carboni, over the summer. Marca has reported that what hint of a relationship that did exist between the pair has now disappeared into the same ether that appears to have swallowed up Toni Cassano. The two were pictured sitting, watching a youth team match, having chosen to neither greet nor speak to each other throughout the encounter. Someone has to go, but as one Mestalla socio told La Liga Loca recently, Carboni isn’t the kind of man to take marching orders, lying down. Draw.

Villarreal (7th) v Athletic Bilbao (17th)

Faced with behind the scenes turmoil, new presidential elections and a team on the brink of relegation, the existing Athletic Bilbao leadership have acted swiftly and taken decisive measures. Providing you are in possession of a dicky ticker, that is. The San Mamés stadium has now had four defibrillators installed, for those too hard to bear moments. They may be worth testing on the defence, just to wake them up a bit. Home win.

Mallorca (12th) v Sevilla (3rd)

Giving the suits who run football a thorough booting up the backside is always a fun job. Especially those that run the Spanish league. When the bumbling bigwigs set the schedule of matches for the current Primera, the page on their notebooks marked ‘international fixtures’ apparently went unnoticed amongst the distraction of the troughs of ham. This can be the only explanation as to why the end of season finale - not that important, really - will be ruined by a number of clubs losing players to the Copa America and internationals in Africa. And this includes Sevilla, who will be without the services of the quite useful Freddie Kanoute after this weekend's matches for the final league game and cup final. Away win.

Barcelona (2nd) v Espanyol (11th)

At time of writing, it is unknown whether Barcelona have pulled a sly one and put off Ronaldinho’s imminent suspension. La Liga Loca hopes they manage it just to see how ‘El Rondo’ fills its Sunday night ranks, once all their regular guests heads have exploded in indignation. Either way, it may not make any difference. Espanyol have been the beaten finalists in Barcelona’s two lonely cup triumphs this season (Super Cup and Cataluyna Cup) and Ronaldinho is no good anyway - according to Dunga that is, “he needs to train”. Home win.

Real Zaragoza (5th) v Real Madrid (1st)

It will be interesting to see how David Beckham’s current ascendancy into Real Madrid Valhalla will fare once the locals discover he deliberately played most of the England match against a beaten Estonia with a crocked ankle. Providing that little titbit makes it into the tasty Madridista Marca, that is. On Saturday, Real probably have enough in the tank to squeeze past a Zaragoza side that looked defensively dodgy, against Sevilla. But only just. Away win. But possibly a draw.

Sunday

Deportivo (13th) v Recreativo (9th)

Oh dear. You know your season has not been a roaring success when your second to last game has been shunted into the Primera’s ‘they can play it whenever they sodding like’ slot, on Sunday afternoon. And that’s exactly what’s happened to Deportivo, a club whose debt El Pais are reporting being at 146.23 million euros. Home win.

Getafe (8th) v ‘Nastic (20th)

The sale of tickets for Getafe’s Copa Del Rey final, this week, caused a stir in the town, not seen since the switching on of its first electric street lamp back in 1997. Queues of three hundred formed outside the ticket window and one crazed bunch of fans were featured in the paper having promised to walk all the way to the Bernabeu for the final. Not so impressive when considering, that’s about 17km. Which, remarkably, is the distance Emerson covers in a season. Home win.

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All blog content copyright of La Liga Loca, 2007

Flops, Farewells and Fights

“If you only win these games 2-1, everyone laughs at you”, said Iker Casillas before Spain’s latest footballing borefest. The same rule applies to 2-0 as well.

Wednesday’s was a match when Luis Aragones was force to give in to a moaning media and select a side based on not upsetting Sevilla, Real Madrid and Barcelona as opposed to his picking best players. Had Valencia been in with a shout of the title, then Julio Iglesias and those two blokes who did the ‘Macarena’ song would probably have made the starting eleven against Liechtenstein.

On Tuesday, Spain’s simian selector had announced that Puyol and Iniesta would be rested in the game against their alpine opponents. This naturally set off the Barcelona conspiracy alarms in the capital city and the papers cried foul, despite Real only having two players in the squad, anyway. Aragones was then forced to backtrack and play only one player from each of the three clubs - Ramos, Iniesta and Navarro. But it is unclear whether it made any difference, considering Saturday’s win came through a jammy deflection and an own goal.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch in Spain, the papers are getting into quite a tizz over what Marca are branding as Real Madrid’s ‘match of the century’ - not words normally used to describe anything involving Real Zaragoza. Or Emerson. Then again, considering prime time entertainment on TVE1 on Wednesday, consisted of a man failing to do Rubiks Cube puzzles, the gurgling excitement can be understood.

A work experience boffin at Marca has worked out that Real Madrid have a 7.4% chance of picking up the title on Saturday might. And it looks like David Beckham has about a 7.4% chance of helping his team-mates do it, having kcacked his ankle in Estonia.

Roberto Carlos has finally announced his departure from the club, having whined incessantly about it for two years now. The boldy one will be heading to Zico’s Fenerbahce for three years to smash free kicks into the stands of a brand new stadium. Even better news, is that Raul Bravo is out for the rest of the season.

Over in Barcelona, the newly crowned Copa de Cataluyna champions have been warned by Edmilson that any more jaunts to America or Asia in July, would be a bad idea - “if we don’t do a professional pre season, we won’t win anything”. Except the prestigious Copa de Cataluyna, perhaps.

Villarreal have prepared for their UEFA cup push in the best way possible - a big hair pulling scrap between Marcus Senna and Diego Forlan. The fisticuffs broke out over an ill judged tackle by the Uruguayan and the two had to be separated by a couple of girl scouts who happened to be passing by.

“We won’t have any more problems”, mumbled Forlan from the corner, where he was forced to stand for twenty minutes, “we have turned the page and are a bit calmer, but I was only defending myself”, declared Senna as he threw a clump of blond hair into a nearby bin.

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All blog content copyright of La Liga Loca, 2007

Bored, Bored, Bored

With the return of proper football still a mere twinkle in an endless desert of despair, many of the Primera’s finest - and Atletico Madrid - have taken to picking away at their sporting scabs to occupy their minds, during the lull in normal hostilities. Especially down at Real Betis.

Don Manuel Ruiz de Lopera - the Liberace of La Liga - has been giving Betico's a tantalising taste of a glittering future, by offering to sell his stake in the club and sling his hook. “I have had a great offer from some people in Madrid”, grinned the godfather he stroked his Husky, Hugo, fondly.

However, de Lopera will not going to sign on the dotted line, until he spends time with fan groups to hear if any them want to either match or improve the supposed offer. But there will be no press allowed into this secretive session, “we don’t have the space in the stadium”, he shrugged, imagining the journalistic stampede to attend the meeting, rivaling that of Paris Hilton's jailing.

Aside from making statements about bogus offers from mystery bidders - or so an opposition group claims, don Manuel is also set to get tough on a club culprit who has apparently robbed the club blind - and he's not pointing in a mirror. An errant employee has allegedly flogged 300 cheeses set for use to celebrate the club’s centenary year, “this is intolerable”, bawled the bigwig as he gave up on getting his priorities even vaguely right.

Another club on the brink of changing hands, is Real Sociedad. The soon to be in the Segunda strugglers, were rocked - in the acoustic gig by Travis sense - by the sudden resignation of a tearful club president, Miguel Fuentes, who stepped down for ‘personal reasons’ and for the good of his family.

La Real’s Basque partners in grime, Athletic Bilbao have called presidential elections for 12th July - an act which prompted half their board to resign, freeing them up for what could be a thoughtful campaign based on careful discussions on the future strategy of an ancient and proud club. Or an undignified, muck raking, finger nail prising grab for power.

Mallorca have made the not completely unsurprising decision to place both Diego Tristan and Maxi Lopez on a pea green boat,and pushed them in the direction of the mainland. And Savo Milosevic is to take his blood curdling threats somewhere new after announcing his departure from Osasuna.

Real Madrid are continuing their strategy of copying everything that Sevilla do, by sniffing around Dani Alves and Antonio Puerta. Meanwhile, those dastardly dawgs in Barcelona forced Xavi into getting himself booked and thus suspended for Spain’s Liechtenstein litmus test on Wednesday, with the result that he can return to the Camp Nou. Or so say the Madrid press on Monday.

Deportivo are on the hunt for a new manager, after Joaquin Caparros decided to end his less than happy days at the Riazor in July - possibly to appear in a new film alongside Meg Ryan. Misery machine on legs, Miguel Angel Lotina, or Recre’s man of the moment, Marcelino are currently wooing president Lendoiro for the honour of leading a club going nowhere, quite fast.

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All blog content copyright of La Liga Loca, 2007

Quotes of the Week

“If it wasn’t for problems with injuries, the stadium closure and certain refereeing decisions, we’d be fighting for a UEFA place” - says Real Betis manager, Luis Fernandez. And it wasn’t for a lack of charm, wit, good lucks and an odd smell, then La Liga Loca would be married to Jessica Alba.

“I could carry on with Carboni staying on” - Quique Sanchez Flores is in full backtracking mode, faced by the thought of being thrown into the managerial dumpster by President Juan Bautista Soler.

“The guy have most affinity with, in the dressing room is the kit man” - Samuel Eto’o with a somewhat harsh description of Santiago Ezquerro.

“When you do a great job, it’s hard to keep going” - Recreativo manager, Marcelino, on his reason for quitting the Huelvans at the end of the season, after a lengthy two campaigns in charge. That’s seven seasons in Premiership years.

“You get headaches, tire quicker and the ball seems to go faster” - Diego Forlan discusses his reasons for turning down a move to Sunderland. Or maybe what happens when you play football at altitude.

“Could we have a phone? If not, what about an Audi?” - A youth team player to Real Madrid president, Ramon Calderon, proving that he’ll fit into the first team squad, just fine.

“You lost the league by yourself” - A less than sympathetic Getafe president (and Real Madrid socio), Angel Torres, fuels the recent war of words with Barcelona.

“In two weeks the whole thing will be fixed” - Zaragoza president, Eduardo Bandrés - filling a suitcase as he spoke - on why a pesky land reclassification issue won’t affect his club’s financial security.

“If incentives are legal, then what’s the problem? They’re not? Ok...then if you can’t use them, then don’t” - ‘Primas’ are bad! - says Real Madrid’s Fabio Capello.

“I see no problems with them” - ‘Primas’ are good! - says Real Madrid’s Ramon Calderon.

“We’ve never paid them and we never will” - ‘Primas’ are bad! - says Real Madrid director general, Arroyo.

“I almost cried when I heard my name being called out” - Joaquin displaying, once again, the girl blouse tendencies of Andalusians as he described his return to the national side.

“Everything dangerous comes from his boots” - an oddly prophetic John Terry on David Beckham, ahead of England’s draw with Brazil.

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All blog content copyright of La Liga Loca 2007